I haven’t slept in days. Normally this would be a bad thing, but the past few nights have been extremely productive. And with all that time, I just wanted to share some of the ramblings of my heart.

“For God ALONE my soul waits in silence.” Psalm 62:1

“I will rejoice and be glad in your lovingkindness, because you have seen my affliction; you have known the troubles of my soul, and you have not given me over into the hand of the enemy. You have set my feet in a large place.” Psalm 31:7-8

“Oh God, you are my God, earnestly I will seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you will joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.” Psalm 63:1-8

When Paul talks about the “peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,” in Philippians, I don’t know that I’ve ever truly experienced that until now. I mean, I have experienced peace, but right now, it’s like I literally have a peace I do not understand. It cannot come from me. I am naturally a very anxious person. I think too much into things, and I think I like to think I’m above worrying, but I do. a lot. It’s something I constantly fight. Yet right now, at this time in my life when I have so many questions, He has rescued me from my anxiety. And I don’t understand it. I don’t understand his grace in taking it from me. Every morning I wake up, and His mercies are new. It’s a new day. A new day to trust Him with.

His word brings life. I’ve known this in my head, yet this past week it has come more alive to me than ever. and community. He has designed us for it. And in the past, when I’ve been be unsure about things, or anxious about what comes next, I have run from it instead of running to it. I am so crazy thankful for the people I do life with. And thankful that the Lord doesn’t want us to do life alone.

I have been praying for a while now that the Lord would reignite (I’m not sure of a better word) my passions. My passion to love Him in general, but also, out of that, what He has called me to be passionate about. I think I can say over time I have had fleeting passions. Maybe I see something someone else is excited about and I think, hmm.. that sounds great. And for the past little while I have become apathetic. And I have asked Him to show me how to move from apathy to passion, and He is.

I went to see Hannah Miller play the other night. There were three other amazingly talented artists playing with her. But I just need to say that Hannah is amazing. I seriously wish she could sing to me all day. I’d be okay with that.

I’ve been reading Under the Overpass, by Mike Yankowski. I’ve had it for a while, but I went into reading it thinking it wasn’t going to be very good because someone told me (someone that i trust their opinion on books normally) that he didn’t like it. Well, I will have to disagree. I really love it.
Also. is it actually illegal to deny someone free water at a restaurant? Suppose someone walked into a restaurant, asked for a cup of water (when the water at the restaurant is free anyway) and they refused to give it to them. It has to be, right?

ok. i’m almost done for now.

I will wait for you there, Phil Wickham

I will wait for You there
Down on my knees where I met You
Give You all of my cares
Find a grace to hold onto now
I’m calling for You

I will wait for You there
far from the world and it’s violence
It left broken and bare
I need to hear You in the silence now
I’m calling for You

And with outstretched arms
I will sing out melodies
And my beating heart
Will pour out a symphony
Hallelujah’s in the morning
Hallelujah’s in the night
I will wait for you as long as I have life

I will wait for You there
Down On my knees where I met you
Cause life is a war fought with tears
But You are the strength I hold onto now
I’m calling for you

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